Fairfield, AL — Christmas shoppers at Fairfield’s Western Hills Mall were surprised today by the appearance of Senatorial Candidate Roy Moore dressed as Santa Claus. According to a Moore campaign spokesperson, the controversial Republican wanted to show how Malls across Alabama welcome him.
“All this talk about Mr. Moore being kicked out of malls is just more fake news,” said campaign spokesman Brett Doster in an email. “This is just more of the same from the homosexual Washington media. I mean, think about it. Would the good people at the Western Hills Mall allow him to play that most cherished of all American traditions? And not only that, but also allow little girls to sit on his lap? I think this clear the air once and for all.”
However, not all mall patrons where aware that Roy Moore was playing Santa for a day as a campaign stunt. Several complained to mall officials and refused to have their children participate in the festivities.
“There is no way I’m allowing my kids to sit on his lap,” said longtime Hueytown resident Don Gable who was with his two kids. “I’m a dyed-in-the-red Republican, but I’m not voting for that man, nor do I think anyone should be near him. I can’t believe the mall let him in here.”
According to Jess Fieldstall, operations manager for the Western Hills Mall, Roy Moore did not have permission to play Santa Claus, nor was he welcome there as he was forbidden from entering the premises about 30 years ago.
“We have no idea how he got in here, although we heard that his campaign paid off our normal Santa or something like that. He was banned from our mall many years ago for behavior I care not repeat. As soon as we found out about his being here, we escorted him out and apologized to all the families waiting to see Santa.”
When asked about his removal from the Mall, Moore’s spokesperson bristled.
“There you go again,” continued Mr. Doster in a later campaign conference call. “This is exactly what the liberal fake news does. You keep Mr. Moore from talking about the issues that matter to Alabamans, like State rights and making this country great like it was before the Civil War. Mr. Moore was welcomed with open arms at the Mall today. To claim anything different is an outright lie.”
According to the Moore Campaign, the candidate plans several other unannounced Santa appearance around Alabama in the next few days in lieu of formal campaign stops and press conferences.