Applewhite, TX — An inmate at the co-ed Saint Applewhite Prison has gone missing, leaving officials laughing and explaining that she probably never existed in the first place.
Lucy Richards, 57, as reported by Dan “Daniel” Bisconti of Infowars.com news, was booked into Saint Applewhite at 5:00 pm Friday afternoon. She was allegedly given a private cell because she’s a lunatic, and reportedly went to bed after dinner. When she woke up, she showered, shaved her forehead and went to make a phone call. She went back to her cell where she proceeded to splatter the walls with herself. That’s the story she left behind on a 3×5 card in her cousin’s handwriting, according to an exclusive Infowars.com document shared during the conspiracy site’s weekend broadcast.
“That bitch wasn’t never here, man,” explained one inmate. “That sticky ass paint ya’ll going on about, that’s just some low-grade acrylic paint the last guy in that cell was trying to make. Shit still ain’t dry, and ain’t nobody gone into that cell in over 12 years.” The inmate, who goes by the name “Blade” continued, “they said all that red shit may be radioactive, so ain’t nobody going in there.”
His statements corroborate what officials are saying about what didn’t happen. Obtaining records from the Department of Corrections on Lucy Richards’s case, we can clearly see now that there are no documents on the existence of Lucy Richards, much less her case.