Scientists Create World’s First GMO Reverse Dalmatian

 UCSF's first "reverse" GMO Dalmatian named "Blotch."
UCSF’s first “reverse” GMO Dalmatian named “Blotch.”

San Francisco, CA — University of California San Francisco scientists have successfully created the world’s first reverse Dalmatian. The effort, which has been in the works for over 14 years in association with Cargill Corporation and the American Kennel Club, sought to create the world’s first GMO dog.

“We’ve been working on this for over a decade,” said lead researcher Dr. Ozmond Derry, “and had a lot of misses. I want to be clear that no animals were harmed during our research, but our initial results were, how shall I say it, ‘different.'”

According to people close to the program, code-named “Get Spot,” in 2006 the first batch of Dalmatians actually had puce-green spots. In one batch from 2009, they were accidentally able to produce Italian Greyhounds from dalmatian embryos.

“Yeah, that was kind of a shocker,” continued Dr. Derry. “I mean, we’re still not sure what went wrong during that run, but I have to be honest that no one expected to see Italian Greyhounds where a dalmatian should have been.”

It’s unclear at the time of this writing why both international agricultural commodities company Cargill and the American Kennel Club have expressed interest in the admittedly odd UCSF program.

avatar
4 Comment threads
16 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
6 Comment authors
a.g.JanabuttsOsborneInkSwirlybundleWebmaster Tim Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Grænt Veldi
Guest
Grænt Veldi

lol, the clincher was this section: the first batch of Dalmatians actually had puce-green spots. In one
batch from 2009, they were accidentally able to produce Italian
Greyhounds from dalmatian embryos.

Yeah, this is real. smh

Grænt Veldi
Guest
Grænt Veldi

lol, the clincher was this section: the first batch of Dalmatians actually had puce-green spots. In one
batch from 2009, they were accidentally able to produce Italian
Greyhounds from dalmatian embryos.

Yeah, this is real. smh

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

what a terrible photoshop job…

Webmaster Tim
Guest

This is not “photoshopped” in anyway. This was a photo provided by UCSF.

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

please tell me you’re joking…

OsborneInk
Guest

This is part of the act. Did you ever see David Letterman’s interview with the editor of Weekly World News? He stone-facedly claimed that the story of the demonically-possessed toaster was. Absolutely. True.

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

it’s literally the 2nd image when you google image search dalmatian…here…i made you a gif showing how it compares to that image http://makeagif.com/i/hwtxFs for someone so ready to claim it’s not photoshoped you’d probably want to know the actual origin of the photo first…and wouldn’t the first photo of a reverse dalmatian be a puppy?!?!

Swirlybundle
Guest
Swirlybundle

I don’t think it’s the actual photo. The article writer must have just grabbed it but I think the information about the research is true 🙂

OsborneInk
Guest

This is a humor and satire site. See the front page.

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

god damn it…i guess i had tunnel vision on the picture and didn’t notice the other articles…i’m sticking to reputable sites like the onion from now on…

let me know if you guys need someone with an ounce of talent in photoshop though…

Janabutts
Guest
Janabutts

no, it’s real. Webmaster Tim said so and he’s a good guy.

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

what a terrible photoshop job…

Webmaster Tim
Guest

This is not “photoshopped” in anyway. This was a photo provided by UCSF.

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

please tell me you’re joking…

OsborneInk
Guest

This is part of the act. Did you ever see David Letterman’s interview with the editor of Weekly World News? He stone-facedly claimed that the story of the demonically-possessed toaster was. Absolutely. True.

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

it’s literally the 2nd image when you google image search dalmatian…here…i made you a gif showing how it compares to that image http://makeagif.com/i/hwtxFs for someone so ready to claim it’s not photoshoped you’d probably want to know the actual origin of the photo first…and wouldn’t the first photo of a reverse dalmatian be a puppy?!?!

Swirlybundle
Guest
Swirlybundle

I don’t think it’s the actual photo. The article writer must have just grabbed it but I think the information about the research is true 🙂

OsborneInk
Guest

This is a humor and satire site. See the front page.

a.g.
Guest
a.g.

god damn it…i guess i had tunnel vision on the picture and didn’t notice the other articles…i’m sticking to reputable sites like the onion from now on…

let me know if you guys need someone with an ounce of talent in photoshop though…

Janabutts
Guest
Janabutts

no, it’s real. Webmaster Tim said so and he’s a good guy.