Gish Gallop Poem: The Rats In The Hats

by Shady Grove

The economy was ruined.
It was a big house of cards.
Obama laughed, “Screw you!”,
with a kick in the nards

He stopped in Berdoo,
as a sad token gesture.
On his way to Oahu,
with his wife, the court jester.

He made a deal with the devil,
also known as Paul Ryan.
Left the American public
up the shit creek and cryin’.

Then Obama killed Christmas.
He said, ” we can not blame him.”
” ‘Cuz the jolly old elf
is just a fat old Pagan.”

“We Muslims, we hate
Christians, Pagans, and Jews!”
“We hate Europe, America”,
“and those who wear shoes!”

“We hate righty’s and lefty’s!”
“The tall and the short!”
“We hate women and children!”
“Their lives we abort!”

“And now that we’ve got you”,
“down on the mats.”
“We’ll ravage your carcass!”,
“Cuz we’re the Rats in the Hats!”

And the Duchess of Douche,
the one called Hillary,
pulled the pants off old Bernie
and exposed his wee, wee.

She said, “I’ll take all your guns!”
“I’ll disarm the whole group!”
“Then I’ll cook you all up,
like a big pot of soup!”

Then Bernie shot back,
“You’re an ugly old bat!”
“You’re dirty and nasty!”
“You’re a Rat in a Hat!”

The Donald slams Jeb.
He slams Rubio and Cruz.
He says, “I’m the bully!”
“I’ve got nothing to lose!”

“I’ll build a big wall”,
“to keep criminals out.”
“I’ll tell comrade Putin”,
“to cut that shit out!”

“I’ll ban all the Muslims”,
“from the country I love.”
“You go police yourselves”,
“We’ve got no more love!”

“And when I win out”,
“one thing remains clear.”
“I’ll pay off my cronies”,
“you’ll get screwed in the rear!”

“And then I’ll be Chancellor”,
“what do you think about that?”
“Turns out I’m really”,
“just a Rat in a Hat!”

Obama and Bernie,
both on their way out.
Will leave to another,
their big mess , it’s no doubt.

Hillary wears a bad wig.
And The Donald does too,
They’re the one’s that looks stupid,
but they’re laughing at you.

They’ve all had their facelifts,
what a terrible disguise.
But it can’t hide the treachery,
the cheating, the lies.

If you vote this election,
it won’t pay to be wise.
You’ll just have to pick,
the Rat that you least despise.

They all want your money!
Some, your freedoms and gats!
They’ll strip all your rights,
so you can’t hunt the Rats!

And when you’re all standing,
in a long line to buy bread.
Just remember, you didn’t stand up,
To the Rats with the Hats on their heads!

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