State Mandate: Unvaccinated Children Required To Wear Armbands

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The State of California is going to require the unvaccinated to wear yellow armbands.
The State of California is going to require the unvaccinated to wear yellow armbands.

Nevada City, CA — The California State Department of Health and Human Services is piloting what some are saying is a controversial new program to require unvaccinated children to wear special yellow armbands. This aggressive move by the State of California follows a very serious disease outbreak at a Nevada City Charter School.

“We understand the concerns people have about labeling children in this fashion,” said California Health and Human Services Agency Secretary Diana S. Dooley in a morning conference call, “But until we understand the scope of the contagion, we can not discern who is a disease vector and who is not. Therefore we are ordering all non-vaccinated children to wear arm bands until we have the diseases isolated. I assure you, this is a temporary measure.”

According to unreleased details of the program, the State will require that all counties identify all unvaccinated students and notify their parents by August 15th to purchase yellow arm bands from the Department of Health and Human Services Website. Each yellow arm band will have the child’s name, social security number and a unique “State identifier” according to the draft memorandum. It is unclear at the time of this writing what this identifier consists of.

Local reaction was polarized with the most vocal of the bunch coming from the “anti-vax” crowd in Nevada City.

Sairhra Ramun seen here shouting at tourists in Nevada City, CA.
Sairhra Ramun seen here shouting at tourists in Nevada City, CA.

“I implore you to find your own truth,” said community activist Saihra Ramun shouting over her megaphone to a largely frightened crowd of tourists in front of Nevada City’s New York Hotel. “Listen to no one but yourself because the ‘experts’ have been paid off and your doctors threatened. If you have the courage, here’s some truth-telling for you: ever heard of the Nuremberg code? It came along after the world became privy to Hitler’s concentration camps, the experiments, and genocide. There is a reason that code is in place and there is a reason why forced vaccinations is in violation of it.”

Not everyone thinks this is a bad idea.

“I don’t think this goes far enough,” said software developer David Cook of Nevada City. “I think we should put these people in camps. You know, nice ones with cable TV and whatnots until we get this sorted out. Since we can’t tell who is a carrier and who is not, they could be putting many immunocompromised people at risk. Armbands are great. And we can see them coming. But this stuff is airborne.”

Although many experts say this move by Health and Human Services faces an uphill battle, notably with civil rights lawsuits, the State seems confident that given the dire circumstances, they will prevail.

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Spencer James Smith
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Spencer James Smith

Well..just realized this is a satirical site. Hah.

Spencer James Smith
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Spencer James Smith

Also, many will attempt to confound me with mindlessly parroting the disinformation and propaganda about anti-vaxxers that is heavily administered among the masses via mainstream media, and doctors and politicians who are financially influenced by big pharma. You can save your breath, I have heard it all and I have reconciled and disproved it all. Yet it will still come.

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What the hell are you talking about?

Spencer James Smith
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Spencer James Smith

You’ve got to be fing kidding me. The audacity and irony of this is despicable enough to be hilarious in a twisted sense. Please don’t block me like: ABC news, skeptical raptor, science enthusiast, multiple mom pages, autism groups, libertarian girl, vaccines from anti vaxxers and anti vaccine wall of shame.