Nevada City, CA — A group of mostly elderly State of Jefferson supporters has forcibly assumed control of Nevada County by invading and occupying the Rood Center on Tuesday afternoon. In what was to be an “information only” Board of Supervisor’s meeting, quickly turned into a modern-day rebellion by pensioners and other people who think President Obama is a Muslim Manchurian candidate.
“Last time I saw this many old people was when I went to my voting place,” said electrician Phil Meadows of Nevada City who decided to attend the meeting. “I mean, what is this place? Scottsdale, Arizona?”
According to witnesses, the rebels even took to flying their non-State Flag out front to demonstrate their loyalty to a cause that will never, ever, never, happen.
“Yeah, some guy put the State of Jefferson flag out in front of the Rood Center,” commented a bystander who wished to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation. “I’m trying to figure out if this was brave or disrespectful or treasonous or just plain stupid. I’m leaning towards just plain stupid.”
In another display of Quixotic revelry, out-of-town Santa Barbara resident Michael Warren wandered from topic to topic attempting to sound like he knew what he was talking about.
“I know about the Constitution, ethics, government, history and other important stuff,” rambled a very serious Mr. Warren. “I know this stuff pretty well.”
Mr. Warren continued lecturing the Board of Supervisors and the audience, who were way past their nap time, about “per capita representation” and how the California Senate works and what a two-term term, is. And without the slightest sense of irony or humor he proclaimed, “entire counties are being ignored. We’re paying taxes for this monkey business in Sacramento.”
Mr. Warren did not clarify what he meant by”monkey business,” but it drew cheers from the crowd.
It is unclear at the time of this writing if this elderly “Occupy Nevada County” will vacate the Rood Center peacefully, although Gish Gallop has learned that most have to get home for a 4:30pm dinner and their Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy episodes.