New York, NY — On the heals of the recent announcement by President Donald Trump that former campaign CEO and publisher of alt-right website Breitbart.com Steve Bannon is in trouble with the new administration, today the Vice President-elect Mike Pence announced the creation of a new department called the Department of New Media. The Department of New Media or DNM for short, will eventually be led by Secretary Bannon after the January inauguration of President Trump.
“There are two fundamentally different kinds of speakers: those who use reasoning, and those who speak from the heart,” said Mr. Bannon in a press release discussing the formation of the DNM. “Speakers who aim for the reason are generally found in legislatures, those who speak from the heart speak to the people. The DNM’s primary focus will be to speak directly to the people, unfiltered by establishment jargon and rhetoric.”
According to Trump transition team insiders, the newly formed department will monitor and “advise” major media outlets on how best help the Make America Great Again or MAGA cause. To achieve this goal, the DNM will have hundreds of deputy under secretaries who will work closely with both the online and paper publishing industry, as well as the broadcast television and radio companies.
“Long ago when he was still far from power, Donald Trump spoke to a meeting filled primarily with his political opponents,” continued Mr. Bannon. “From the beginning, he was rejected. For two hours he struggled with the stubbornness of his audience, addressing all their problems and objections until at the end there was only thundering agreement, jubilation and enthusiasm. As he concluded, someone yelled from the highest row: ‘Trump is Reagan!’ We hope to capture that energy and influence new media outlets in the same fashion.”
One of the first activities of the new DNM, will be an informal torch-lit parade through the streets of Washington, D.C. later this year to celebrate the “reawakening of the Great American experience,” according to aides close to Secretary Bannon. As many as 60,000 Trump supporters have already expressed interest in displaying their loyalty, according to website hosting the information. The spectacle is expected to be covered by all major outlets and is expected to demonstrate to the American people the unity between in the incoming administration and the mainstream media.