Stoners “Munchery” To Open in Grass Valley

The first Stoners Munchery to open in Grass Valley, CA in January 2016.
The first Stoners Munchery to open in Grass Valley, CA in January 2016.

Grass Valley, CA — The nation’s first restaurant dedicated to the burgeoning “impulse munchie” market is opening in the Sierra Nevada Foothills town of Grass Valley, CA. The new chain called Stoners,  which is a new subsidiary of Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc.,  hopes to serve what the company believes is an under-served and growing market currently dominated by the fast food chain Taco Bell.

“We are absolutely thrilled to have Grass Valley as our pilot restaurant,” said Stoner regional manager Seth Bedderford in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “We had a list of over 14 different locations around the country. Everyone thought Boulder [Colorado] was a shoe-in, but I pushed hard for Grass Valley, because well, it’s Grass Valley.”

The new restaurant, which will occupy the space of the old Perkos building on Sutton Way, will feature all kinds of menu items designed to appeal to what the industry calls, “the long decider.”

Stoners' regional manager Seth Bedderford is excited about the new franchise.
Stoners’ regional manager Seth Bedderford is excited about the new franchise.

“Long deciders are exactly what it sounds like,” continued Mr. Bedderford, “they take a long time to decide on what they want. So our innovative menu system will feature large representations of our offerings with a simple numbering system for our customers to choose from. All they have to say is ‘I’ll have that number 2,’ and they’ll get our loaded version of the classic American dish Nachos.”

Along with Nachos, the Stoner menu will feature other impulse-easy items, but will have a focus on freshness and “organicness.” According to Mr. Bedderford, these are the strict marching orders from the Chipotle leadership: just because you’re high, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have quality.  Although the restaurant boasts over 27 different menu items, many of the dishes are in development “hush mode” at the moment. However Gish Gallop was able to obtain a sneak preview of some of the menu items.

 


#2: Ben Hudson’s Rad Nachos

No one knows who Ben Hudson is.
No one knows who Ben Hudson is.

 


#12: The LBJ PBJ Pancake Tacos with whole Orange on a paper plate

#12: The LBJ PBJ Pancake Tacos with whole Orange. Three buttermilk tacos stuffed with organic huckleberry jam and regional peanut butter and a whole, unpeeled orange to keep a stoner occupied for hours.
Three buttermilk tacos stuffed with organic huckleberry jam and regional peanut butter and a whole, unpeeled orange to keep a stoner occupied for hours.

 


#14: Radical Bacon, Mozzarella Sticks and French Fry Pizza

#14: Radical Bacon, Mozzarella Sticks and French Fry Pizza. It's just what it sounds like. Customers can order this delight with pineapple, if they are really stoned.
It’s just what it sounds like. Customers can order this delight with pineapple, if they are really stoned.

 


#17. Ranch Dressing and a Bowl of Croutons

#17: Ranch Dressing and a Bowl of Croutons. For the patron who wants to think that they are eating a healthy salad, but they're really, like...not. Dressing served on the side.
For the patron who wants to think that they are eating a healthy salad, but they’re really, like…not. Dressing served on the side.

 

Stoners is slated to open in May. There will be a ribbon cutting ceremony on April 26th, weather permitting.

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Bjorn A Vulvan

It’ll never fly. We can get crap leftovers at home.