Study: 84% of All Facebook Female Profiles Are Men

According to the Rundex Family Foundation, as many as 84% of all female social media accounts might be men.
According to the Rundex Family Foundation, as many as 84% of all female social media accounts might be men.

Palo Alto, CA — An 11-month study of Facebook meta data conducted by the Palo Alto, CA-base Rundex Family Foundation found that as many of 84% of Facebook female profiles might be men masquerading as women.  The study, in which Rundex partnered with the University of Chicago’s Badwater Institute of Public Policy, sought to understand the complex nature of social media interactions.

“Well, the data doesn’t lie,” said leader researcher Robert Colvin speaking from his Mountain View, CA home office. “However we were not looking for these impersonation vectors. Along with Professor Badwater and his team of graduate students, we were trying to understand how social media platforms like Facebook are contributing to the deterioration of our intra-personal relationships. We wanted to answer this simple question: How could be so connected via technology, and be, pardon my language, such assholes to each other online? We didn’t expect to find this men pretending to be women thing. But I think we might have an inadvertent answer to our question.”

According to the University of Chicago’s Professor Badwater, recent studies have shown that people who engage with social media platforms such as Facebook demonstrate higher rates of disassociative behavior than control groups who avoid them.

“I think when you put it all together it makes sense,” said Professor Badwater stroking his Walt-Whitman-like beard during his office hours. “I can say why men like to pose as women, but we can say that mediums like Twitter and Facebook make it easier for people to disconnect from their gender. More study is obviously needed, but the preliminary data does make sense to me. At least on an intuitive level.”

Of course not everyone has the same detached curiosity as Professor Badwater. For some, including Grass Valley’s Jake Zillevich, the discovery has made him angry.

“Here I thought I had all these girlfriends. They were ‘friending’ me left and right,” said a clearly irritated Mr. Zillevich speaking out front of the Briar Patch food COOP in Grass Valley. “They’ve been flirting with me and I flirted back, you know? I mean, some of these women were hot. Like, I’m not gay or anything, so don’t get any ideas here. But I’m pissed off about this and Facebook needs to do something about this.”

Mr. Colvin says that many of the fake or “alt” female profiles are operated in the same spirit as fake news sites did back during the 2016 Presidential election cycle.

“We found that these alt accounts fall into two basic categories, explained Mr. Colvin. “First, and probably more obviously there are fake woman accounts to lure heterosexual men out of social media and onto for-pay sex sites. The second group is a bit harder to put your finger one. In this one, you have men portraying women online to, how shall I say it, troll other men they perceive as enemies. You know, they friend them, gain their confidence and then humiliate them in some way. More recently, there has been a swam of ‘alt-women’ profiles targeting the overcompensating male alt-right crowd.”

Rundex and the Badwater institute plan on a follow-up study on the impacts of Donald Trump’s tweets on male virility.

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