Ted Cruz: Melania Trump Is Transgender

GOP presidential hopeful, Ted Cruz, dropped a bomb this morning on the Trump campaign
GOP presidential hopeful, Ted Cruz, dropped a bomb this morning on the Trump campaign.

New York, NY — GOP presidential hopeful, Ted Cruz, dropped a bomb this morning on the Trump campaign. Cruz, speaking at an event in Midland, Texas, unleashed the hounds from Hell in an attempt to make up some ground.

“I have shocking news! Utterly shocking,” exclaimed Senator Cruz to CNN correspondent Sunlen Serfaty. “As I stand here, with my wife and best friend by my side, it saddens me to have to break this disturbing news to the nation,” Cruz continued. “I am saddened because, well, I had to ask myself, last evening when I received this news, what would Jesus do? I can tell you that I spent many hours in fervent prayer with my Savior. By this morning, I still hadn’t heard back from him, and the Holy Spirit said I should go ahead and preach it to the nation.”

The political rhetoric is starting to heat up again as Ted Cruz tries to salvage his reputation after taking a beating from Donald Trump during the primary season. Senator Ted Cruz, who lost badly to Donald Trump in the Empire State by a significant margin, is looking to re-establish himself as the Tea Party darling.

“We have been conducting some background investigations on our opponents, as is typical in these political races,” Cruz explained. “We wondered, did Melania come into the country legally? Wouldn’t that be a feather in our cap if the big bully that wants to build anti-immigration walls was married to an illegal immigrant? We were pretty excited at the prospect of finding some good dirt, when our first three searches found no Melanija Knavs, her real maiden name, ever entering the country. We did, however, continually run into the name, Martijn Knavs, a Slavic immigrant.”

What entails next is nothing short of a bombshell.

“Was he her brother? Uncle? Who? We didn’t have answers, so we dug deeper into the seedy underbelly of the beast we know as immigration. It was scary out there in the darkness that is mankind’s depravity, but we forged on because Americans deserve the truth,” related Cruz in a whispered hush.

“We found records and receipts of several surgeries and procedures at the Denver Center for Sexual Reassignment. The name on these documents, slowly, over time, went from Martijn Knavs to Melanija Knavs. Could it be? She is unusually tall. She does have a pretty square jaw and a bit of a five o’clock shadow in the afternoon. We were stupefied! He is a she! She was a he! OMG, where will she pee?” The senator was dancing around in a giddy shamanic dance. “I win. I win,” Cruz chanted. “I am the King of New York!”

The interview ended abruptly when four men from Bellevue, in their nice white coats, escorted Senator Cruz to a waiting “transport”. His wife, Heidi, waving and calling after him, “Have a great time honey. I did.”

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Shady Grove
Shady Grove was born Eugene Wojohouski, May 9th, 1965, in Oyster Bay, Long Island, New York. As a young boy, he had a penchant for shiny objects and colorful stones. His claims of being able to look into the stones and see the future, as well a being able to find buried treasure, were met generally with great skepticism and an occasional tight wedgie. He attended Hicksville High School on Long Island where he excelled at spending the day locked in various school gym lockers, day dreaming, and organizing show tune ensembles with his friends… While in high school, he met his soul mate, Whimsy Goldblatt… After graduation, Eugene and Whimsy were wed in a civil ceremony and left New York for the sunshine and carefree shores of California… This pissed their parents off something awful… Eugene took a job at the docks in San Pedro, California, for a tuna canning company, while Whimsy waited tables in a longshoreman’s diner… Eugene soon earned a reputation as a “shady” character after swindling several of his coworkers with his treasure stones… One afternoon, Whimsy brought Eugene some lunch… They slipped into the canning plant for some privacy and while making passionate love on a suspended steel girder, Whimsy slipped and plunged 40 feet into the tuna steaming vat below… Eugene, fearing that he would lose his job, and maybe worse, did not report the incident to anyone… Whimsy became a small part of 10,000 cans of tuna… Eugene put the incident behind him, did a stint in the military, where he changed his name to Shady Grove, and then moved to San Francisco where he opened an open mic nightclub for poetry and show tunes… He later became a saucier at the posh Bourges Hotel and wrote a regular column for the “Bay Area Breeze”, a publication dedicated to the preservation of show tunes and those who love them…Though he never remarried, he has been in a long term partnership with a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman… He is now retired somewhere in Gold Country where he spends his time raising two puppies, boating in the cool waters, tending his herb garden, and writing freelance reports for several news agencies…
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joe
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joe

Her hands are bigger than Trump’s

Jack Hamilton
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Jack Hamilton

That’s not the question. The REAL question is; is her dick bigger than Trump’s? Ha, ha!

joe
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joe

Her hands are bigger than Trump’s

Jack Hamilton
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Jack Hamilton

That’s not the question. The REAL question is; is her dick bigger than Trump’s? Ha, ha!

Lisa Dawn Cheney
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Lisa Dawn Cheney

They are ALL trannies.

Lisa Dawn Cheney
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Lisa Dawn Cheney

They are ALL trannies.

Robert K. Pitts
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Robert K. Pitts

…look at her face! She has gotta be trans-gender or is still a man?! Melania is way too masculine looking. Probably a man like Michelle Obama-all these NWO whores like Obama and Trump are all Luciferians.

Sandeana Becker
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Sandeana Becker

Answer the question. How did Michelle give birth to 2 children, & Melania give birth to 1 child? No matter what you think of their facial structure, only a DNA test can determine true gender. And in the case of Michelle & Melania, that would not be necessary, since each gave birth to children. So what is your answer, & your logic?