Sacramento, CA – Leaders of the flat earth societies around the globe are coming together online in an attempt to “flatten the curve” of Coronavirus infections so that hospitals won’t become overwhelmed around the world.

Pastor Billy Rustler from Globe Earth Vs. Flat Earth: The Great Debate, an upcoming independent film expected for release in 2021, stated:

“We flat earth believers are good at making curves flat.  We do it all the time in those fake NASA photos.  CGI is deceptive.  We told all flat earth members around the world that they just stay home and wait for this to calm down.  If they get sick, it was the lord’s will. 

We aren’t a group of science deniers when there is a national emergency. We know something’s up.  We never believed the virus was fake or a hoax.  It’s real alright, and we are going to flatten that damn curve, so these freemason Illuminati bastards don’t get their Georgia Guidestone de-population agenda 21 fantasy into a reality.”

Their movement is being met with trolling efforts, being called “a Freemasonic attack” on their rights.  Members of flat earth groups hold their heads up proudly as they self-quarantine and stay home.  Collectively agreed, it gives them more time to post on Facebook about the flat earth.  And to catch up on all of their youtube “watch later” videos.

Many other groups are gathering together behind the Flat Earth Society for efforts to combat this Covid-19 pandemic.  For example, anti-vaxxers For Jesus is donating 200 jars of baby sneezes to local neighborhoods to help boost immune systems.

Experts say these efforts are misguided and that they may lead to more people being harmed than helped—no word on whether or not these “experts” aren’t Illuminati spies.