Washington D.C. — In the predawn hours of May 31, 2016, Donald Trump embarrassed the world with a single disjointed Tweet, which has since been deleted.
“Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”
Twitter users seized upon the egregious typographical error, drubbing the President with justified ridicule. However, according to a former Secret Service Agent who directly contacted Gish Gallop, this is no ordinary typo.
“Um You could say that there is something Freudian at work here,” he mused with an uneasy chuckle.
The agent, who asked that his name be withheld, went on to demystify President Trump’s bizarre Twitter post.
“Trump was asking for his fefe. A fefe is basically made up of a shoe box filled with raw liver, and there’s a hole inside for a man to put his dick inside and you knowpleasure himself. It’s something he does when he get’s stressed out or when Melania won’t give him any action, which has been the case more and more of the time.”
According to the agent, Trump demands that designer shoe boxes and gourmet liver be used when assembling his fefe.
“We’d get the liver from the same places that supply his favorite restaurants,” remarked the agent. “Trump doesn’t accept anything less than the best quality.”
Shortly after the Tweet was posted, the agent who contacted Gish Gallop resigned his post.
“You know, it’s bad enough that all the shady business with the Russians and the money laundering and what not got out in the open. But after this got out, Trump jerking off with a box full of liver I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m 65, I’ve been with the Secret Service since the Carter Administration, but I was so embarrassed, I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
Not surprisingly, White House officials refused to comment.