The United States to Exit the European Union

President-elect Trump announced the United States' intention to leave the European Union.
President Trump announced the United States’ intention to leave the European Union.

Washington, D.C. — In a surprise announcement, which some analysts are saying is politically motivated by a shaky stock market, Vice President Mike Pence at the urging of Donald Trump announced during an impromptu press conference that the United States will join the United Kingdom and leave the European Union.

The announcement, which surprised both liberals and conservatives, was apparently made to upset Western NATO allies and bolster the strength of Russia.

“President Trump has listened to the American people,” said Vice President Mike Pence in the early morning press conference. “And he thinks this move will help show Americans that we’re not messing around anymore. He wants people to know that he’s putting America first again. And that along with the United Kingdom, we are going to take back our sovereignty.”

In June 2016, the United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union by a narrow 51.9%. The campaign to leave the EU was driven by largely uneducated and under-informed voters who thought the vote was for removing Muslims and other immigrants from the country who they perceived as “taking away jobs.”

One of the “Brexit” leaders, Nigel Farage has since become a Donald Trump supporter and is rumored to have been offered a cabinet position if the billionaire real estate mogul gets elected. According to Trump insiders, he  wanted to “cut Chancellor of Germany Angela Merkel and those dumb ‘Frenchies’ off at the pass” by offering his own executive order removing the United States from the European Union.

Critics Speak Out

“This is another example of how Donald doesn’t understand how the world works,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi speaking on the MSNBC show Morning Joe. “His craven abuse of power is evident to all Americans. He’s also said that he  would not only remove us from the EU, but also NAFTA, the TPP, the NAACP, NATO and AARP. If you can believe that.”

Later in the day, Mr. Pence was interviewed by CNN’s Anderson Cooper. When challenged by Cooper about why the United State should leave an organization it’s not even a part of, Mike Pence bristled.

“This is the kind of thing that has Americans fed-up,” continued an irritated Mr. Pence. “This constant ‘gotcha’ journalism. I don’t speak for President Trump, but I know he wants what’s best for America. And that means cutting the ties with organizations that do not have America’s interests at heart.”

According to Mr. Pence, the United States has 14 days to change its mind on the controversial separation, after which time the European Union will do nothing.

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Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

The United States has NEVER BEEN in the European Union.

blackballs
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blackballs

Whooooosh…I guess they didn’t teach satire in common core.

Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

You would know.

blackballs
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blackballs

Coming from a guy that thought this article was real. That’s rich bro.

Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

Of course it wasn’t real. I wrote my response for the dummies that thought it was. So I guess you did pass your common core classes after all.

blackballs
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blackballs

ya sure u did

Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

I take part of what I said back. The way you spell and punctuate your sentences you couldn’t have passed common core classes.

blackballs
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blackballs

Keep digging that hole

Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

Your lack of common core skills are evident. No period at the end of your sentence. Poor thing, you just can’t get it right can you?

blackballs
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blackballs

I believe you princess.

Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

It must be incredibility hard for you to go through life with a bad education and homophobia.

blackballs
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blackballs

Maybe, but at least my two brain cells know the US isn’t a part of the EU.

“The United States has NEVER BEEN in the European Union.”

Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

A circular argument. We have already been through this. Too bad you have a very short attention span too. As for you 2 brain cells i would have given you credit for at least 4 but I am willing to go along with your limited intelligence assessment of yourself.

blackballs
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blackballs

Sure princess.

Mitch Dabbs
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Mitch Dabbs

Ok Braindead.