Cedar Ridge, CA, Inside the room of a 15-year-old teenager– Today’s forecast in Evan Williams’ bedroom is not a pleasant one, dear Nevada County people. Given the recent heatwave in Nevada County, coupled with the terrible hygiene habits of a typical teenage boy, Nate Williams’ bedroom should not, we repeat, should not be entered under any circumstances without proper hazmat attire.
According to insiders close to Nate’s situation, the young man claims to have taken a shower after repeated complaints from his mother, Janet Williams of Cedar Ridge. But authorities from the Department of Health and Human Services has discovered that this is not true.
As temperatures climb, the humidity in Evan’s room will rise proportionally due to the large amounts of buried decaying food and piles of filthy clothes. According to government officials who chose to remain anonymous, Evan’s room will have to be quarantined if this keeps up and he will be forced against his will to be hosed off in the front yard.