Washington D.C. — Trump Advisers today released official notice that space program NASA is losing all federal funding after the president was told by his second chief of staff, John Kelly in a “frustratingly stupid argument with a simple man” that the moon was not made of cheese like he was told as a young boy. Kelly was brought on July 31st to the White House to bring order and peace to the chaos of the Russian collusion case, and the day to day bumbling about of the new White House staff.
With confusing public relations with the Charlottesville protests and his slowly degrading reputation in D.C. Kelly has been having a difficult time keeping up with the latest fire he has been tasked to put out and has been overheard arguing with the president over certain procedures and sometimes silly things like what the moon is made out of.
One employee, who wishes to remain anonymous and is working closely with Kelly told us, “The president? I mean he’s alright I guess. [Kelly] thinks he’s a simpleton, has to over-explain everything to him, like a kid you know? I could have sworn I heard the two of them goin’ on about how Santa Claus was a fairy tale and not really a guy in a suit that brings you presents every year. Trump eventually put his fingers in his ears and started yelling ‘fake news’ over and over again so that he couldn’t hear [Kelly] and they both let it go after that.”
NASA has been a wonderful, and highly educational factor of American Society since its foundation in 1946. Pushing the boundaries of exploration in the name of science and progress, NASA is currently working on various projects ranging from the Curiosity Mars Rover to the projects the men and women perform on the International Space Station.
American Astronauts at the ISS upon learning that they will be coming back home much sooner than expected are going to be missed by their international team, and have this message to give to America,
“Citizens of the USA, stand up for your rights now more than ever. The man in charge is not very bright, and while the rest of the world is going to move on he is going to keep you, the United States behind. Don’t let one man ruin generations of hard work. Together, we can achieve more.”