New York, NY — After many announcements by anti-Donald Trump advocates that they would leave for Canada when he became President, the controversial, President Republican announced today that he’s considering building a wall along the Canadian border to keep Americans from leaving.
“I would build a great wall. And nobody builds walls better than me, believe me,” said the Donald from the White House Oval Office. “And I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great wall on our northern border and I’ll have Canada pay for that wall. This is no time, no time, to be leaving America. And I will keep Americans here. And they’ll work American jobs.”
For years now, Donald Trump has discussed building a wall along the southern Mexican border. He has spoken candidly about Mexico “sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.” He did mention that “some, I assume, are good people.”
This new northern wall announcement comes on the heels of several outspoken public statements by celebrities who have said they would move to Canada if Donald Trump becomes president.
According to insiders inside White House, these comments irritated the presidential candidate, and after he was dismissed by Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau as a “fascist and a moron,” President Trump decided that something needed to be done to get, in his words, “the Canadians to step in line.”
“Canada needs us more than we need them,” said Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway speaking on CNN this afternoon. “And if they’re not going to play nicely, then they should not be surprised by this action.”
There has been no response from the Canadian government at the time of this writing.