Washington DC — In what his supporters are saying is another example of Mr. Trump’s generosity, the President announced free helicopter rides for all Black Lives Matter and ANTIFA protesters. According to the White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany during the daily campaign event press briefing, the rides will take place with the help of “Federal law enforcement” who will offer one-way, all-expenses-paid trips over either the Pacific or Atlantic oceans.

“The President got the idea watching a History Channel documentary on Chile,” said Ms. McEnany. “He floated the idea by his advisor Stephen Miller and Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, who both thought it was a terrific idea.”

According to several White House insiders, the President expressed a desire to pilot Marine One for these missions. After several meetings with cabinet-level officials who explained that it was risky for him to steward an advanced helicopter, Mr. Trump changed his mind.

The former personal pilot of Chilean dictator Pinochet admitted that “many times,” he threw prisoners into the Pacific ocean. Helicopter flights were also used to make bodies of already killed dissidents disappear. Trump’s addition of the Atlantic ocean is seen both as an innovation and as an example of his “genius” business acumen.


“This is another example of our President playing 4D chess,” said Boise, Idaho’s Gene Harrold, who runs the Republican political action committee Potato-PAC. “Not only did he add an Atlantic Ocean option for these people, but he also wanted to save the taxpayers money by doing it himself. He’s already giving away his paycheck; now he’s rolling up his sleeves for real Americans like me.”

Operation Tremendous Vacation, as coined by Trump himself, is scheduled to begin in two weeks when the President plans to sign an executive order.