Trump Refuses to Deny Federal Aid for California Dam Disaster

President Donald Trump refused to deny any aid to California due to the recent Lake Oroville Dam crisis.
President Donald Trump refused to deny any aid to California due to the recent Lake Oroville Dam crisis.

Sacramento, CA — Today the Trump Administration again refused to deny federal aid to California victims fleeing a potential devastating dam break in Oroville, CA.  The announcement to not deny help to the liberal State came from Press Secretary Sean Spicer during his daily briefing.

“The President believes that he does not have to ignore California,” said a frowning Sean Spicer trying to understand his own words. “Look, President Trump does not want to be forced to refuse aid for a State that is clearly harboring illegal aliens.”

Mandatory evacuations remained in effect for nearly 190,000 people in Northern California after a spillway serving the country’s tallest dam developed a hole that threatened to release uncontrolled floodwaters. Governor Jerry Brown issued an emergency order Sunday night to bolster the state’s response, and on Monday he said he’d filed an emergency request for relief with the federal government and said he didn’t discuss the events in Oroville with a member Donald Trump’s cabinet who said they might consider federal aid before President Trump refused to deny it.

However the Trump Administration did acknowledge that Governor Brown didn’t talk to them, prompting HUD Secretary Ben Carson only current cabinet member to mention the Lake Oroville Dam crisis.

“I’m  concerned that all the HUD resources were still cleaning up in the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew,” said a soft-spoken Mr. Carson who spoke to the press as he left the White House today. “Most of the California voters there are dead or illegal anyway, but that doesn’t mean they’re not law-abiding citizens who need our help. It’s all a bunch of Jabberwocky anyway.”

A spokesman for the engineering effort to shore up the damaged dam spillways said they were making attempts to get on President Trump’s “good side.”

“We’ve got all these rocks here we’re gonna dump on the dam to stop the erosion,” said foreman in charge of the emergency efforts Dave Jamesfort. “We’re calling these bags of rocks ‘Trump stones’ and we’re writing on them ‘Mexico’s going to pay for ’em.’ We’re not sure if it’s going to work, but we want him to know Butte and Yuba Counties voted for him and he shouldn’t forget that.”

According to Secretary Spicer, there are no plans to refuse to deny more funds to California in the future until it “gives up all its illegals.”

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