Abuja, Nigeria — During a recent rally in Michigan, President Trump told the large crowd not to worry about the growing Federal debt because of a recent email he received from a Nigerian prince. Sandwiched between comments about ineffective dishwashers and a rather long diatribe about why we can’t use the phrase “mankind” anymore, Mr. Trump said that he had been personally communicating with the “Honorable Prince Zomba Alyusi Islassis.”

“And then there’s Prince Zomba Molasses. Who I have a terrific relationship with,” shouted the President after talking about how his favorite breakfast cereal is from Battle Creek, MI. “I’ve been communicating with him for months now, and for a small investment, he promises to pay us $1 Trillion. Now, who’s the best deal maker you know now?”

White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham confirmed that the president has had “extensive talks with Prince Zomba,” and the two have made significant progress towards paying down the public debt.

“The President is a deal maker,” said Ms. Gisham speaking with ABC’s Good Morning America earlier today. “And if he sees a deal that’s good for America, he’s going to move on it. He doesn’t wait around for experts to tell him what to do.”


When confronted about the scam nature of Nigerian emails, Ms. Gisham became visibly irritated.

“Look, this is legitimate. We don’t question the wisdom of the president on matters like this. He is a great businessman and is doing what is right for this country. All Prince Zomba is asking for is $45,000, and he’ll wire $1 Tillion into the US Treasury. This is exactly the kind of thing President Trump is doing to make America great again. And keep it great.”

The Associated Press, during a follow-up investigation, found that there is no Prince Zomba and that the entire Gross National Product of Nigeria is only 375 billion dollars. That’s one-third of the $1 trillion amount offered by the fictitious prince.