Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia — A California man has been sentenced to 30 days in a Malaysian prison for farting in an elevator in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA felt no need to alert others in the elevator that he was about to pass gas. According to Malaysian law, it’s not illegal to fart in an elevator, but you must alert all passengers prior to doing so.
45 days is the minimum sentence for this infraction, however Mr. Dickens’ lawyer Damon Schlaltzberg thinks that he may have received a reduced sentence due to his affinity for President Trump.
“We’re pretty sure that Mr. Dickens ‘MAGA-wear’ helped get him a reduced sentence. Even so, this ain’t America and they don’t take lightly for people expressing themselves here like that. I believe we can get him out for good behavior, providing he alerts everyone in the correctional facility that he’s about to fart.”
Trouble started earlier this month when Mr. Dickens was attending a conference in Dodge Auto Parts Supplier convention Kuala Lumpur. The day after the event ended, he decided to tour the iconic Petronas Towers, which are the tallest twin buildings in the world.
The elevator ride to the observation deck can take upwards of 4 minutes. And as luck would have, Mr. Dickens had eaten some question street food the night before.
It Just Slipped Out
“Yeah, that probably wasn’t the best decision I’ve made,” said a distraught Dickens prior to his sentencing. “I didn’t feel so great when I got on the elevator, but I wanted to see the top. About floor 25 I let one rip like I do at home and people started freaking out. A woman with a baby started crying. I tried to apologize, but when we got to the top, the cops were waiting for me.”
Mr. Dickens said he knew nothing of the law, and thought the conservative country only forbid things like throwing chewing gum on the street.
“It turns out that’s Singapore, not Malaysia,” continued Mr. Dickens. “Anyway, I didn’t know anything about telling everyone you’re gonna fart. But now that I know, it explains a lot about the people I hung out with in Kuala [Lumpur].”
The Malaysia commissioner responsible for sentencing said that he hoped Mr. Dickens learned his lesson.