Trump Teams Up With IBM for Muslim Punch Card System

Donald Trump looks to IBM like Hitler did.
Donald Trump looks to IBM like Hitler did.

New York, NY — Following Donald Trump’s recent comments that he “would certainly implement” a database system tracking Muslims in the United States, the President reached out to American Information Technology giant IBM to ask for their assistance in expediting this new system.

“I would certainly implement that. Absolutely,” Trump said in Newton, Iowa, while senselessly campaigning for the job he already has. “And We know IBM has a lot of experience doing just that. They helped Germany set up their tracking system in the 1930s and 40s. They’re good people to work with. Good American people.”

IBM’s technology helped facilitate Nazi genocide through generation and tabulation of punch cards based upon national census data. The company has never denied its participation with the Third Reich, but rather claims, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that all the work done in Germany was performed by contractors unbeknownst to the Armonk, NY-based company. And despite signed documents from then CEO Thomas Watson implicating their knowledge of the project, the company still maintains that it had no involvement. To further complicate matters, IBM was contracted by the US government to help manage Japanese interment camps during World War II.

As for Donald Trump, he’s excited about the possibility of using Information Technology to register, catalog and track all Muslims in America.

“There should be a lot of systems, beyond databases,” he added. “We should have a lot of systems. “It’s all about management. Our country has no management.” When asked if Muslims will be forced to register for such a system, he said without irony, “[t]hey have to be — they have to be.”

It is unclear whether Trump is a closet Nazi or just playing one to pander to an increasingly disenfranchised dumb-ass demographic or he is really much more terrifyingly stupid than anyone had previously thought. Regardless of his motivation for evoking Nazi-era tactics, his steady poll numbers seem to suggest he’s pin-pointed what many Americans want to hear.