Mosul, Iraq — A new experimental military technology is under Defense Department review after a recently created and deployed Army division failed to restrain insurgents at Camp Diamondback in Mosul with nothing more than dank memes.
Commander Deft, of the Army’s Space Force first expeditionary corp, explained what happened.
“The troops were well trained and ready to go, but there were some problems right off the bat,” said commander Deft speaking from Turkey where the division was relocated. “They all had their phones out and proceeded to send the enemy the sickest, dankest memes via every possible media channel including Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We even had two solders dedicated to text messages, but none of that stopped the enemy’s advancement.”
Back at home, at the Mountain View, CA facility that trained the Space Force first expeditionary division, news of the failure met with disillusionment.
“We’ve been working on this tactic for over four years,” said the head of research Camen Carlson. “All of our trial runs had the enemy either terrified or laughing so much that they just gave up. We’re going back to the drawing board as we suspect there might have been some cultural gap going on here.”
It’s unclear whether the US Military will continue the Army’s Space Force first expeditionary corp or whether they’ll return to shooting at the enemy.