Moscow — In what can only be described as a flexing of muscle, a magnificent wielding of Putin’s phallus, or an aggressively pro-airbag posture, Vladimir Putin, dictator of Russia and surrounding occupied countries, has decided to back comedian and professional vote-splitter Ralph Nader in this year’s 2020 presidential contest.

The decision caused President Trump to wither, look like a bag of crap and, perhaps, cause WWIII, thus assuring Nader’s victory in November 2020 election.

Putin has said he would not comment on the issue except to say that the loans he made on Trump’s brokeback behalf have gone unpaid, and, looking at his tax returns as Putin has, never will be.

The Nader 2020 Campaign said it doesn’t plan on being a spoiler, nor has he ever been in the past.