“Welcome to Penn Valley” Flyers Aim to Keep Visitors In Line

Penn Valley, CA Visitor Flyer
Penn Valley, CA Visitor Flyer (click for a larger version)

Penn Valley, CA — Penn Valley citizens, business owners and community activists have come together to create a “Know How to Act Good in Penn Valley” flyer designed  to educate visitors about the small, quaint township.

“The whole point of this,” said chief organizer Mary Shilling of Penn Valley, “is to let people coming here know that this is no hippie place like Nevada City. We have a certain way of doing things, and we want everyone who comes here to understand that.”

Although the Flyer has not been released yet, Gish Gallop has seen preliminary copy of the flyer which has been in the works for over 4 years. The flyer includes some terse, aphoristic sayings such as:

  • We don’t call 911. We lock and load.
  • Soap, try it sometime.
  • The only thing we grow here is AMERICA!
  • USA out of my W.E.L.L.
  • Penn Valley: As American as America
  • No, we don’t have public restrooms
Brock Whalen of Bring Back Glenn Beck
Brock Whalen of Penn Valley, CA and BringBackBeck.com

“It’s important to understand how we do things here in Penn Valley, ” said local activist and a confident Brock Whalen. “We encourage plastic grocery bags, open and concealed firearms, and the protection of our wells from government bureaucrats. ‘Get out of my well, Jimmy’s not down there, my Rights are’ you’ll hear around here.”

The flyers plan to be stored at the local “TacoShell” with a large sign overhead that reads, “If You’re Tough Enough. If you Dare.” There will be signs on State Highway 20 directing visitors to the box.

“This has been a long time coming,” continued Ms. Shilling wearing a State of Jefferson or Else shirt. “This place is simply different from the rest of Nevada County, and we want visitors to know that.

 

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Highway69LuvMolly Sis of Max the GalootMCTheDirtmover Recent comment authors
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LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot
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LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot

My experience with Penn Valley and the cowboys we hung around with in the way back is, it’s a redneck cow town!

TheDirtmover
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TheDirtmover

Yes ma’am… And that’s the way we like it.

Highway69
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Highway69

I know a cowboy from PV, who still reminisces about a city girl with a Camaro that he met in the way back.

LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot
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LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot

Really? I had a VW, then a mustang, then a camaro in those days. Hmmm…

Highway69
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Highway69

Yeah, he said you probably wouldn’t remember! 😀

LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot
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LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot

Are you serious or pulling my leg? I remember our cowboys quite well.

Highway69
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Highway69

OK, you got me!

Cowgirl up now!

MC
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MC

You little stinker you.

MC
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MC

😉

He got ya Luv.

LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot
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LuvMolly Sis of Max the Galoot

Yep, he got me, the brat!

Highway69
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Highway69

😉
My memory is pretty good!

Actually my recall works fine – it’s the body that’s fading!

TheDirtmover
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TheDirtmover

Yup! Now has the Dirtmover’s seal of approval. As a life long resident of this America loving community,
I fully support said “rules for visitors”. And clean up your own damned mess when you come to enjoy OUR park.
The gun fire you hear just might be mine. ( and some locals,, since I have the proper Co. setbacks for a shoot’n range)
Yup this may be a little cow town,, but we don’t take any bull.

Highway69
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Highway69

I don’t have a problem with the rules, but geez – a flyer that took 4 years to make?

What? Are you the only person with a computer in 95946? Pretty good job on the spell check too, DM.

TheDirtmover
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TheDirtmover

Maybe… There are plenty of tin cans and string still connections here.

Highway69
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Highway69

So you have DSL – except that instead of dial-up, you have wind-up?