Wiccan Sky Dragon to Fight Chemtrails

Artist's rendition of "Juban," Skyy Wolford's Chemtrail-fighting Wiccan Sky Dragon
Artist’s rendition of “Juban,” Skyy Wolford’s Chemtrail-fighting Wiccan Sky Dragon

North San Juan, CA — North San Juan resident and chemtrail researcher Skyy Wolford is relieved that someone is finally doing something about all the Chemtrail “geoengineering” that is taking over our planet. He recently learned that Juban, the Wiccan Sky Dragon, is coming to defend the skies against Bill Gates and his Illuminati friends.

“I am so happy that the Wiccan Sky Dragon is coming to end this madness,” said Mr. Wolford in a land line telephone interview from an undisclosed location. “It’s obviously going to take a creature like Juban to end this Earth-altering madness.”

According to sources close to Mr. Wolford’s borderline pathological imagination, the Wiccan Sky Dragon will attack all Chemtrail-producing aircraft in one magical bite, severing the aircraft in two thus “saving the planet from the diabolical project to poison us with chemtrail gases and mystery goo like nitrogen, oxygen, CO2, coal ash and even argon,” according to Mr. Wolford.

When asked about the implications of biting commercial airliners in half and the possibility of mistaking a regular passenger plane for a Beale Air Force Base Chemtrail Disbursement Vehicle or BAFBCDV, Mr. Wolford replied, “I’m hoping that Juban will act as a deterrent so it will not come to aggression. Peace via strength, you know? But the Sky Dragon is willing to use force to maintain the balance of the skies and Mother Earth.”

Mr. Wolford is not a scientist, nor does he have any scientific training. He did spend two semesters at Sierra Community College studying psychology until he decided “school was not right for him.” The 34 year old retired to North San Juan to sell fake local crystals to Yuba River tourists that he sourced from Malaysia. Since then, Mr. Wolford has focused his attention on what he feels are the most pressing issues of the day: FEMA camps, the campaign to forcibly poison us with vaccinations, and of course chemtrails.

It is unclear at the time of this writing exactly when Mt. Wolford’s Wiccan Sky Dragon will start operations, but it’s clear that it stands little hope against F-16s .

avatar
3 Comment threads
5 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
5 Comment authors
Webmaster TimTaylorKurtJoJo JohnsS Farkle Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Kurt
Guest
Kurt

Red Balloon Protest, Saturday March 28, 2015, If you see what they are doing to our skies, our tress, and our children and have had enough, release as many red balloons as possible in protest on Saturday March 28, 2015. For those who believe that balloons are an environmental hazard but still wish to participate, use eco-friendly balloons, fly kites, shoot flair guns, rent a hot air balloon with a banner, or rent an aircraft, be creative but act and help take back our sky and our planet from the scum who are killing our trees and manipulating our weather.… Read more »

JoJo Johns
Guest
JoJo Johns

Mr. WOLFORD…You are a hero…Not Being a Scientist gives you more street Cred than a real one! Because YOU SIR ! Cannot be BOUGHT OFF ! (Most researchers are hired 2 ways ONE to make the so called evidence lean in a certain direction while it does the complete opposite)…Case in Point …OPERATION” Iraqi Freedom…Produced NO FREEDOM and goes way past IRAQ,,,But you sir and your Dragon! Well sir that is a Weapon of Mass Purcussion..So as they say in the military, Carry on! You got my VOTE !! Make sure you walk your dragon down East Main street next… Read more »

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Mr. Johns, you can reach out to Mr. Wolford to express your gratitude:

[email protected]

Taylor
Guest
Taylor

You are an even bigger fucking idiot than the retard who wrote this if you actually believe this…

Webmaster Tim
Guest

What’s not to believe Taylor?

Taylor
Guest
Taylor

I’m from North Carolina by the way… I go to Asheville often with my last trip being about 2 weeks ago. So I know for a fact that the author is a fucking nutjob anybody with sense should be able to see that. Mr. Wolford is obviously fucking incompentent and so are you with that logic..

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Incontinent? Like he wears diapers? We don’t think that’s the case. Not yet at least.

S Farkle
Guest
S Farkle

My coven never had a sky dragon. How did he get one of his own. Something smells fishy here.