Wolf Blitzer Suicide Blamed on Shocking MAD Magazine Memo

Wolf Blitzer seen here in a 2005 file photo.
Wolf Blitzer seen here in a 2005 file photo.

New York, NY — In a shocking revelation, pioneering news publication MAD magazine has admitted to “making some things up” during the past 65 years. The news, which was leaked to the press this week by a former disgruntled employee, sent shock waves through the news business and has resulted in the suicide deaths of two journalists.

“We lost Wolf,” said Turner Broadcasting System CEO John Martin discussing the suicide of CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer. “It’s shocking to lose such a titan, but the MAD leak did him in and he took his own life. He was very proud of his MAD Lifetime Achievement Award he received in 2009. It’s just a terrible tragedy.”

According to the leaked memo, MAD Magazine has been rusing its readers since its inception, however that was never the initial intention. According to the documented, dated January 23rd, 2010, the esteemed magazine set out to establish itself as the leader in investigative journalism, but immediately fell into disarray before the first publication. The editors at the time, fearing for their livelihoods, took the unethical steps of fabricating many of the stories. The lie worked and they never looked backed.

It’s unclear at the time of this writing how the esteemed magazine will proceed following these revelations. MAD magazine has yet to issue any comment.

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